You can't get there from here

 Here's what I know...

You can't get there from here. 

Tell me if this sounds familiar: 

If I could just stop feeling like this, I wouldn't be crazy. 

Repetition has to become your new best friend. Period. The only way I got those mean voices to go away was by writing down pages and pages and pages of general statements. Not good feeling statements. Not aspirational. Not affirmations I wasn't even close to believing yet. General statements. 

When you feel anxious, or mad, or sad, or irritated, the last thing you want is to here someone else tell you to just smile and it will all be okay. So why the heck would you try to lie to your own self that way? 

You'll get tired of reading this but that is EXACTLY the point I am trying to drill into you from this soon in. 

You can't get there from here. You can't get to happy while you're feeling angry. Those are two feelings on opposite sides of the feeling chart. But just because you can't leap over there, you can sure start to make your way over there. And the only way to do that is to take the good and the bad out all together. Just be matter of fact with yourself. Don't you appreciate those people who don't tip toe around things they want to say but they're also just so matter of fact that it takes all of the emotions out all together? 

Lemme show you. 

Scenario: Your Adderall just wore off and you are feeling the stimulant crash. This is one of those slow burns where you don't even really notice the momentum happening until it's too late. Your irritated and all of a sudden all your focus snaps to the realization that you are indeed, VERY overstimulated and there's no more meds to save the day because its now evening and your main objective is to survive until bed time. If you are like any normal human being in this situation, your immediate reaction is to fix it. But instead of stepping away, you begin trying to negotiate with yourself. And by negotiate I mean terrorize yourself with all kids of disappointment and failing expectation "negotiation" tactics that never work. 

One of my favorite quotes I ever read on the internet and one of the few quotes I didn't write down the person who said it was: "if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now." 

Damn. 

But here is what I am offering to you in this way because you have every reason to justify whatever it is that you do to survive. But if you are here it's because you are trying to find the answers and solutions to get you out of survival mode so here me out...

To get the answers we want we have to be willing to do the things we've never done. 

Back to the scenario: you are overstimulated and doing everything you can to avoid letting this all out on someone you love or worse, someone you barely love and it causes a scene and you have a whole other issue to deal with next. 

Instead of "come on! Why am I losing it again?? I am so sick and tired of not being able to control myself or my stupid thoughts! I hate feeling so out of control and I am about to lose it and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is making it WORSE! I hate this! I need to leave I need to leave before I make things worse. I'm so stupid! Why?? HOW did I miss the signs?? I'm so much better than this! I used to be SO MUCH better than this!!" and so on and so forth. 

GO GENERAL: 

"FUCK! okay. you know what. I can smell colors and hear lights right now. I have a plan. I'm going outside. I am walking. Right. Left. Right Left. Where am I? I'm outside now. What do I see? side walk, tree, car. What do I hear? next question. What does my shirt feel like in my hands. I can feel the texture of the cotton. What color is in the distance. A blue house. What do I hear. birds. cool. okay. now! Nothing really matters all that much. nothing really matters all that much. I don't have to figure anything out RIGHT now. I'm walking. I'm okay. I'm safe. All is well. I'm just walking. I'm just outside. Nothing has to happen right now. Actually, that was a good call to go out for a walk. The sun is out but so are the clouds. I actually really enjoy when clouds are out and move in front of the sun. That temporary relief provides shade and sometimes I like feeling the sun but sometimes the shade feels good too. And hey, I was able to recognize I was overstimulated, which is cool cuz before I didn't really know how to even identify that until it was too late. And this time it's not too late. And you know what else. I grounded myself too! I had a plan, and it worked! Oh wow.. that actually feels good that I made a plan for that moment, I just followed it to avoid freaking out more, and now I am outside and I implemented my skills and I just checked like three healthy things off of my list of being a healthy adult. Walking outside, taking a time out, and was just then being mindful. That's actually so good! I'm actually not as bad as I thought. And now I feel more in control. Like this only keeps getting better and my therapist is going to be so proud of me when I tell her that the skills we are working on are working again! And hey, this is an again moment! Which means I am being consistent with my tools and skills. And consistent means success which means.. I did that right. I'm doing it right. I'm doing it correct. All is well." 

See and feel the difference?