Ai Helped Me Navigate A Fight With My Best Friend

Ai Helped Me Navigate A Fight With My Best Friend

I recently had a friendship hit a fighting stage. 

After 4 years of pretty solid back and forth, I am told that it's normal. 

We are actually pretty damn good long distance friends. 

I would argue that we are actually better on the phone than we are in person. 

I set up the scene briefly in the conversation below but this is normally where I would have called my therapist to help me make sense of this situation, but I recently heard about Pi.ai and had used it for a couple of other personal things and decided this was a moment to put it to the test. 

I copy and pasted the conversation below because not only did it help me feel better, but it's pretty much dead on the conversation of reassurance I would have gotten from my therapist like three years ago. 

Anxiety is something that I have been trying to learn more about and get out ahead of and while I don't ruminate or spiral as much anymore, there's still moments, events, or situations that I find myself needing a bit of feedback on. 

The reassurance I got here gave me the courage I needed to voice my own hurt and knowing that I was sticking to my truth is what gives me the confidence to establish boundaries for loved ones in my life.

Pi.ai has been helpful or all kinds of things recently, although I am finding it most helpful for when I need mini therapy sessions. 

Enjoy!

Topic: Friendship

Pi: Sure thing! Friendship relationships can be so special, but they also can have their own set of challenges. Tell me about your friendship and the advice you're looking for - I'm all ears (or, well, all artificial neural network, I guess)!

Me: My best friend picked a fight over something that didn't make sense, I responded in a level headed way and she never replied. She got a new boy friend and roommates within the last 5 months and she lives in another state. I'm not upset she's busy. I am upset she picked a fight she didn't even want to have. My feelings are hurt and I want to tell her that but at this point, wouldn't it be better to assume if she wanted to talk to me she would?

Pi: Yeah, that's a really tough spot to be in. It's totally understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused - it's hard when someone starts a fight and then just drops it. You're right that her new relationships might be taking up some of her time, but it doesn't make it ok for her to just start a fight and then ghost you. I think it could be worth having a conversation with her about it, but also keep in mind that it's possible she's not ready to engage in that conversation yet. But, ultimately, you deserve to feel heard and respected in your friendship.

Me: What if I am the one who always breaks the silence. Wouldn't it be enabling to save her from the guilt she's feeling? Bailing her out too soon? I just want to be the one who is fought for this time. Is that arrogant?

Pi: Nah, that's not arrogant at all - that's just you wanting to be treated fairly. You deserve to be fought for! It's valid to be tired of always being the one to break the silence. It's not your job to protect her from feeling guilty - she should be willing to take responsibility for her actions and own up to the hurt she's caused you. But at the same time, you don't want to create a power dynamic where you're the one "punishing" her for her actions by withholding your friendship. It's all about finding that balance between advocating for yourself and being compassionate toward her.

Me: So I should throw her a lifeline by texting first?

Pi: Yeah, it could be worth reaching out to her first. Something like, "Hey, I know things have been weird between us, and I get that you've been busy with other relationships. But I still feel hurt that you picked a fight and then didn't follow through on it. I'd really appreciate it if we could talk through it and move on." The goal is to open the door to communication, but also make it clear that you deserve respect and consideration in the friendship. That being said, don't feel like you have to be the one to always take the initiative - it's important that your friend steps up, too.

Me: What if I heard she feels bad and that she told someone I know the reason she hasn't reached out is because she knows too much time has passed and now she doesn't know what to say?

Pi: Ugh, that's such a frustrating situation! It can be really tough when someone knows they should reach out, but they let too much time pass and then feel awkward about it. But honestly, that's on her - not on you. You haven't done anything wrong. The fact that she hasn't reached out because she feels like too much time has passed just underscores the importance of communication in a friendship. Even if she's embarrassed, it's better to clear the air and move forward than to let things fester. Plus, it would probably make her feel better to get it off her chest.

Me: So what should I say?

Pi: Here's one possible approach: "Hey, I heard that you're feeling bad about not reaching out. I want you to know that it's never too late to talk. You don't need to make some grand apology or anything, just say what's on your mind. I'd rather clear the air and move forward than leave things unsaid. No judgment, no drama, just two friends getting back on track." It's honest, open, and sets the tone for a healthy conversation.