I’m fine. Just turning 30

 I’m fine. Just turning 30 today and evaluating life this week. Im balancing the line of appreciating making it to 30 and convincing myself the below statement/meme is a good enough reason to keep going. And this feels like a pretty good place to be. 

(*disclaimer* - I don’t know how to condense things down anymore when I text so the this post is VERY long. Sorry I’m not sorry. This is what I do I guess and I am grateful to whoever reads this! You the real MVP’s 😂💕🙏🏻 )

A lot can happen between now and 34 but 29 has taught me that I love how much my life slowed down. I learned so much in my 20s! As do most. But in reflection, I noticed how roles reversed. Most of my friends from 20-28 were in their 30s and up. And when I turned 29, everyone I spent time with was way younger or at least my same age (except for dad!). And I got to be the phone call/friend/emergency contact to help calm down, to help soothe, to provide insight and give advice. And I had the privilege to do so because of those who did that for me. And I guess I just wanted to make sure that I had the chance to say to all those adults that were more adult than me the last ten years that helped me make it to 30:

It worked! We did it. Your love and support and kindness worked. It was not in vain and it was not for not. And whats more amazing than that is that I got to pay it forward. The ripple effect is real. You’ve helped quite a few teenagers and kids and young adults figure out quite a lot! From feelings, to conflicts, to critical thinking, all the way to self confidence and self care. 

And my favorite part… you helped shape me into the “safe adult” that they can come to with anything and feel seen, feel heard, feel good about growing up. You’ve all helped me be able to lead by example and set boundaries and love unconditionally. By loving me and helping me, you have all helped the ones that have crossed my path because in some form I was able to pass along your wisdom, your stories, our stories, your love, your lessons that helped shape who I’ve become today. 

So this is what I’ve come to a conclusion about in ending my 20s. That some of us needed the village a bit longer than others and that’s okay. That connection was the antidote to most of my self sabotage and suffering. (And I believe that it is for most of us) and I’ve learned that “this too shall pass.” I’ve learned that there are people worth growing with and others that are stepping stones. I choose to believe that we are all just doing our best. that there are too many outside influences to count that are absolutely out of our control that make life REALLY hard…so it’s that much more important to find your people/tribe and have patience for others and that it’s easier to take care of others when you put your own oxygen mask on first. That being proactive to heal the wounds given to you so you don’t bleed onto others has served me the most and allowed me to be the adult I wished I had when I was younger. Because that’s what all of you showed me was possible to do when you stepped up to do that for me. 

Here’s to any of my friends and family that see this! If it resonates in anyway or you think maybe I could be talking to you, I absolutely am!

Thank you for those of you who answered your phone when I was at my low points. Thank you to those who lent me your couch when I wasn’t at a “high functioning” phase and needed a place to regroup. Thank you to those of you who made sure I ate well and to those of you who listened intently and with compassion, especially when there was no answer. Thank you to the ride or die friends that sat with me through the darkest moments. Thank you to those who financially helped me make it another day another year. Thank you to those who mentored, coached, and educated me. Thank you to all of those of you from high school that reconnected with me over the last few years! For being brave enough to message me first with love and support for all sorts of reasons. Thank you for those willing to have open discussions that changed how I see the world without making me feel less than. Thank you for the laughter, the adventures, the road-trips, the movie nights, the shopping trips, the jokes, the jobs, the rides, the everything!

I appreciate every one of you because you’ve been the reason I have been chasing stability, peace, and (not to be dramatic but I don’t have another way to say this) life itself. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you back! Thank you for giving me the space to grow up so that I may do the same for others. 

Here’s to starting my 30s! Y’all better be telling the truth when you say they’re better than your 20s because I am so ready ✊🏻🥲